Continuation

Mimi goes through surgery, but has many set backs. She has had skin grafts nad they are not taking. The doctors will re-do the skin grafts, but say that if they are rejected again amputation is an option. The unspoken alternative choice is to not amputate and let it go. Life expectancy seems slim either way. She has additional surgery and the graft sticks. Unfortunately she develops osteo myelitis and has to begin very strong intravenous antibiotics. We go home with instructions on how to administer the meds, care for her "pick" change her wound dressing every day and generally meet her daily needs, food, toilet, bath, company. Friends call frequently. They would like to offer advice on which doctors to use, which hospitals to choose and which treatments they and their friends think are best. Some even get angry when we choose to stay the course with Memorial Sloan Kettering. A colleague from her school suggests that she call a former parent who has dealt with melanoma. Against our better wishes she calls him. He gives her a detailed description of his treatment and gets angry when she says her doctors are taking a different tack. A neighbor repeatedly tells us of her friend who began as Mimi did and is now playing tennis. Why are your doctors failing you her tone implies. These people are hard to be around and make us all very angry. It is tough to be angry at well meaning friends who are offering help. Mimi joins us for Thanksgiving dinner, but spirals downward the nest day and continues to deteriorate.